Why I’m Done With Online Dating (For Now)

OLD (online dating) has NEVER worked out for me. I have never met someone online who didn’t turn out to be a jackass in real life.

However, as a writer, I don’t do a lot of socializing. Big group events and parties and the like, eh, maybe every now and then but most of the time I prefer to be in the house chilling in sweatpants.

Still, being single can get boring. It’s fun to have someone to talk to. So I ventured out into the world of online dating yet again. This round of OLD lasted all of 4 days. Let me tell you what happened…

Bumble is basically like Tinder except girls have to message guys first. It’s great, because you don’t get a lot of pervs in your inbox. However, you do get matched with a lot of people who don’t respond to your message within the 24hour app limit. Whether it’s bc they didn’t want to or they didn’t see it in time, who knows.

So anyway, I matched with two guys and struck up a convo with both. The first one (we’ll call him Evan) was cancelled within 2 days. Through the convo, I was able to deduce he was unemployed and currently living at home. Didn’t seem to be in school either.

I was on the fence about that but I said, okay fine, I was unemployed for a few months and I’m about to be unemployed again after this job ends. However, it should be noted that I was NOT trying to secure dates when I was unemployed.

Anyway Evan asked if I wanted to go out. He suggested a place down the street from his house. But he lived on the other side of the city so I suggested that we try something a little closer out my way.

His response: Idk, I’ll have to see if I can get a ride, but if anything, we can have drinks at my place.

Me:

It was at this moment I knew he was a full fledged dumbass. Like how tf do we go from a restaurant down the street from your house to drinks at your house? And how tf does that solve the problem of me having to go AAAALLLL the way to the other side of the city in the middle of winter? gtfo.

You know what happened next.

Despite never hearing from me again, this fool continued to text (to my spam folder) asking if we were still on for Saturday for a full 2 days.

This type of behavior shouldn’t be a surprise to any woman who has dated online or off. A lot of people are on there just looking for sex and hookups but don’t want to say it upfront because they know you’ll most likely shoot them down right away.

Moving on to guy #2, Clayton. He was nearly perfect compared to Evan. He asked me questions about my interests and hobbies, we were both really big fans of the same show, he asked me on a date in a non-perverted manner. Everything was going pretty well, nice lil vibe was there, it seemed promising.

Then the texting virtually stopped the next day. It was Monday, I had work, I knew he had things going on. I wasn’t concerned about it because I believe texting someone too much before a date is a bad thing. You don’t wanna be telling this person all your business before you even meet up.

I was fine with keeping the convo at a minimum until the date. However, throughout the week, it was clear I was the one putting forth all the effort. Even though he asked me out, it took 3 days to confirm a location with him.

He said “sorry, im bad at texting sometimes.”

I probably should have blocked him right then and there. Nobody’s bad at texting, they either forgot about you or just didn’t want to talk to you. And the only reason they’ll apologize for it is because they want to keep you on the line just in case they decide they do want to talk to you at some point.

I knew it was bs because we followed each other on social media and I could see with my own eyeballs he was posting things while my text had gone unanswered.

But I was being optimistic so I said, that’s fine, does Saturday at 8pm work for our date?

Then he went ghost again. Literally 3 texts AFTER he apologized for being a bad texter. At that point I was ticked off, although not as annoyed as I should have been. I think we tend to want to see things that aren’t there because we can’t fathom why someone would be kind to us and then just stop for no reason.

But of course there’s a reason, there always is.
1. He’s already dating someone
2. He’s trying to pursue someone else
3. He just wanted to see if he could get your attention
and had no intentions of ever meeting you
4. He wants to meet you but only if nothing better comes around first
5. He’s a fakkin idiot

Now, sure, there can be some other legit reasons. Like he’s working 80 hours a week or his phone got cut off or he’s too shy to know what to say to you. 99.9% of the time, that’s not the case, but even if it was, the end result is the same, me trying to set a time for this date and being ignored.

I had to confer with my logical bestie for advice because I wasn’t sure if I was overreacting. She confirmed that he was indeed playing some weird game and that I should wait one day for a response and then write him off.

So that day came and went and today is the day of our ‘supposed’ date that I will not be attending even if he does text me today. If I can’t communicate with you to make a date that YOU asked ME for, then there’s no future there whatsoever.

Online dating is a game of numbers. If you talk to enough people, eventually you’ll probably find someone you click with and you’ll hit it off. But before that, you’ll wade through the slush pile of potential dates.

I just don’t want to deal with the drama right now. If I knew I had to go on 22 shitty dates before I found the right person, I would rather just stay single to be honest. Dating strangers from OLD who turn out to be assholes doesn’t vibe with my soul, it doesn’t make me happy, therefore I’m not doing it anymore.

If the universe wants me to find my soul mate, it’ll have to happen a different way! In the meantime, I’m just going to enjoy the excellent vibes of being me. Happy Saturday!

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