Query Update + Depression

Since my last post, I received two rejections from agents I queried. I gotta be honest, they don’t sting at all when you’ve got 5 fulls and a partial out. I’ve also gotten a crap ton of rejections from jobs and agents this past year so I don’t really care anymore.

As far as the fulls and the partial requests, I haven’t heard back from any of those agents yet but I didn’t expect to. Could be 2 to 3 months and no news is good news in my book.

In other news, I interviewed with a legit employment agency today. It went fairly well and they sent my resume off to a job that sounds like it’d be right up my alley ( or as good as it gets since I apparently can’t read and write all day).

Still, even with this semi-good news, I can’t help but feel I’m just going through the motions of life. Maybe some of it is depression but a lot of it is just recognizing what I see.

I’m starting to understand that happiness for me is just trying to lessen the pain from my depression. To find reasons to get out of bed.

Most days that reason is my dog. When I adopted him, I legit thought to myself, “Hey, this is a good idea. If you have a dog, you’ll have to go outside everyday and you’ll get fresh air and sunlight and you’ll feel more purposeful.”

But this theory didn’t work for me like it probably works for others. The depression’s still there, I just have to stand outside for a few minutes 3 times everyday.

To distract myself, I’m going to seriously sit down and try to work on a new novel. My hope is that throwing myself into a new project will distract me from my thoughts. If it gets too frustrating, I’ve got about 700 library books to read so you can catch me on Goodreads posting hella reviews @jeweliana

4 thoughts on “Query Update + Depression

  1. Hey, I was going to suggest, ”why don’t you write a book?” until I read that last paragraph. I know it’s crazy to say, but I do feel like every bump in the road is there for a reason. I’ve been fired from jobs, and now that I look back, I realize that even though I needed the money, the job was NOT right for me. Though I’m surprised you always need an agent to apply for jobs… In Quebec we can apply to companies directly by e-mail… have you tried that? You probably have, what am I saying.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, it’s so hard to find a decent paying job, but even harder for me because I don’t have a car. I’m thinking most people don’t use agencies but I was desperate and they are somewhat effective in cutting the middle man out of the application process. They find the jobs instead of me torturing myself online although I’m still applying on my own to some places as well. They managed to snag me a phone interview today so I’m hoping that goes well!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I don’t have a car either, and honestly I don’t want one after having seen my mom and brother struggle CONSTANTLY and you have to pay insurance for it as well as for your driver’s license. I don’t know, I’m a firm believer in public transportation, like Kevin Hart’s mom ahah. I’m reading his memoir right now and it’s SOOO good.


      2. I want one sooo bad. I just want to be able to leave and go places as I choose instead of waiting on the next bus or train. But the money is definitely an issue for me right now which sucks. Oh wow, I don’t read a lot of memoirs but I feel like Kevin Hart’s would be hilarious. I’ll have to check it out!


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