Yesterday I started a new manuscript!
I only wrote about 8 pages, but it’s a story that’s going to have a good message and I’m really excited about it.
But then today, I started stressing about publishing. Is this a book an agent would want to represent? Is this a book any major publishing house would want to purchase? Is this something that’s just going to sit on my desk for all of eternity because there’s no market for it?
Thoughts like this are what can really suck the joy out of writing. Constantly wondering if you even have any business writing a story.
As a teen, I’d spend hours writing in my binder, stories about anything because I knew nothing about agents or publishing or trends. Now, as an adult, a very poor adult without a job who wants to make a career out of writing and who only has one polished manuscript ready, I don’t feel I can truly be free. I feel like I need to deliver a product, to build my writing franchise.
I have to be honest, I am intensely worried about this new manuscript even though I’ve barely started it. My last manuscript was very timely, social justice movement led by a young black girl. And I still had a lot of agents refusing to even look past the first chapter.
I know it’s all subjective, but if I queried 30-50 agents and most were not interested in a story about a black girl fighting for justice, fighting for her life, how many would be interested in a story of a black girl falling in love with a black boy? Probably even less.
If I manage to snag an agent with my last manuscript, I might have less to worry about but still, feels like there’s always going to be something to worry about when you’re a writer trying to make a living.
For now, I’m going to keep trucking along with my story. Even if it’s not something that ever sees the light of day, romance is a new genre for me and I definitely don’t want to be a one-trick pony. At the very least, this manuscript will challenge me and teach me the skills I need to be an even better writer going forward.
I’m also going to take a break from Twitter. Now’s probably not a good time to hear about so-and-so’s 345th book prize or Susy Sally’s new trilogy release date.