Yesterday’s interview was an epic fail. Big shocker, I know.
My anxiety level was on ten before I even got to the place. I had never been to this area on my own before and I had no clue where I was going. Google Maps got me lost a little but eventually, I found my way to the place.
Inside, the office looked like a damn hacker set up. One long table with all the workers fathered around it working on 2 computers each. This also happened to be a job where employees were required to bring their own laptop.
I wasn’t 100% with that because my laptop is the most expensive thing that I own and it’s where I do all my writing. I didn’t like the idea of fucking it up or catching a virus doing some bs with a job.
But I’m broke af so I figured I’d deal with it and buy a new laptop with the money I made from work.
Right off the bat, interview is just…off. They seem nice enough but this was a tech company and I have a background in teaching and creative writing. Idk why they even invited me to interview, obviously I’ve never done anything like this before.
I didn’t even have a full grasp of what the company was about. They were fairly new but even after researching them, I was still a little vague about their purpose. I still don’t fully understand their purpose or how they get their money.
Anyway, the interviewer asks me a series of questions that I struggle to answer because we all know there’s no such thing as an innocent question in an interview.
-What’s your dream job?
-Why do you have an MFA?
-What did you like about teaching?
-What’s your work superpower?
-What’s something negative I don’t know about you?
-What kind of skills do you want to take away from this job?
-What kind of goals would you set here?
Now, I was already knowing that answering honestly was not going to get me this job. Nobody dreams about sitting in front of 2 laptops and making calls all day. But you have to sell them the idea that you do.
Then, again, I had to denounce my MFA and creative writing. I have to do that every time and it’s just a hindrance. My plan is to just remove the masters from the resume because it’s very hard to convince people I don’t take writing seriously as a career when I literally just graduated a year ago.
So I’m struggling through the questions. I would have struggled on a good day but I was in the midst of a depressive episode so I’m having to focus on improvising and also trying to make myself appear as though I’m not dead on the inside. The struggle is real.
When we get to the question about negative traits, I try to pick the best one, say I’m shy until I warm up to people. This is a job where you sit at a computer screen all day. Being shy for a day or so shouldn’t be a negative quality.
But then the interviewer goes, “ooohhh, well idk if that’s going to work for us. We’re looking for someone aggressive to implement new ideas.”
Seriously?! This isn’t even a sales position! Why do you need to be aggressive to call businesses on the phone and update their data on a website? Like what the hell is really going on with this job? Who knows, maybe they’re secretly working to hack into some Peruvian Prince’s network and steal his wealth. Idk.
But I knew at that moment that I wasn’t going to get the job. I shucked and jived as best as I could to repair the damage, boasted about my teaching (“I’m not always shy, I taught a class of 20!”)and assured them that I was a hard worker.
It didn’t work. I moped hard as I waited for the train home and an hour l8r got a call from my employment agency that I didn’t get the job. Funny enough, yesterday was the day my agency sent literally everybody and their mom to interview for this job.
I probably never had a chance if any of those other people had even a little bit of a tech background.
So yeah, I’m feeling defeated af in the job hunt department. This is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever attempted. Maybe because it’s taking me so long to find a job that will support me. To be honest, I’m afraid I never will.
All I can do is keep trying.