I’m quickly becoming the queen of novel rejections.
The first was a query rejection. The agent told me she liked the concept of the story but felt it wasn’t a good fit for her. But she also said she wanted to see more work from me in the future.
Now, for the second rejection, it was a personalized full manuscript rejection. She said there wasn’t enough tension in the plot and she didn’t know how to fix that so she probably wasn’t the right agent for it. But she did compliment my writing, the idea for the story and encouraged me to send her future work.
This was the second full rejection on this manuscript and it hurt. I couldn’t see the good in it, all I saw was that this agent not only saw a problem with my story but didn’t see how it could be fixed.
And if two agents felt that way,the 4-5 other agents still reading were all going to reject me, too.It would be a repeat of my first manuscript.
Where I’m at now is not a good place. Even before these rejections, I was struggling to write a novel that was better than my last. So to have what you think is your strongest work being rejected, it’s a gut punch to the writing ego.
Then I started thinking I need to write what’s trending. I pounded out some gibberish on the keyboard but trying to write something you’re not passionate about, and writing it well, is damn near impossible. I’m so frustrated and creatively lost that I know I need to take a break.
That makes me feel awful because I need to provide for myself and every minute I’m not producing good work, I feel like I’m screwing myself over, ensuring it will take even longer to get to where I want to be.
Writing, Not writing. At this point, they both feel like shit to me.
I feel like my life is a giant house fire and the only things I have to put it out with are a box of matches and a canister of lighter fluid. Looking at a wellness wheel, every slice of the pie is screwed up for me right now.
It’s hard to stay motivated when nothing is going well. I’m now on survival mode: DISTRACTION. Reading books, watching movies, doing anything that will keep my mind off the things I can’t fix right now.