Hello everybody! I know it’s been like a month and a half since I last posted. But I had a good reason why!
Around the time of my last blog post, I found out I was a finalist for a writing fellowship. Paranoid, I shut my blog down because I feared the panel might see something on here that might make them not want to give me the award, i.e., my depression. I doubt it would have mattered but…
Yup, you read that right! I won a fellowship! I can’t go into too many details because the public announcement isn’t until November and I’m currently still working at my job. But suffice to say, it’s an amazing opportunity for my career and a life changing win!
I was rejected from every other fellowship I applied to but this was the one I truly wanted because they had a category just for young adult writers and I’ve yet to see another fellowship that makes that distinction.
If you’ve been following my blog, you know that this past year has been a shit show for me and that I hit rock bottom at least 10 or 12 times. Now, things are finally going right for me and it’s so amazing that sometimes it’s hard for me to even believe it’s happening.
In other news, things at my job have somewhat improved. I was bumped up from receptionist to legal assistant and that has made coming to work a lot less awful. Still, the office manager doesn’t like me and really enjoys talking to me like I’m an idiot.
I feel under pressure with all of the work, not because it’s difficult but because I’m not being properly trained in the way that other people were. But I try my best and if that ends up not being enough, OH WELL.
Not much has changed in the romance department either. If you remember back in January, I professed my feelings for someone who subsequently blocked me on all social media without a word. I was semi-crushed.
Eventually I got over it and moved on with my life. Then a couple weeks ago, this same guy unblocks me and re-adds me on social media. I had told myself I would never talk to him again but what can I say, being single gets lonely sometimes.
So we started talking and he seemed really interested in pursuing a relationship. Then like two days later, he was suddenly over it and too hung up on his ex to continue. It was a drama filled week in which he would call me and we’d talk but then he’d turn cold. During our last conversation, he called me and said, “I never liked you, I just felt some type of way after being dumped. If you wanna talk, we can, but with no expectations. If you don’t wanna talk, that’s fine too, I don’t care either way.”
So of course I’m pissed at this point. If you don’t care, why the fuck are you still calling me?! Needless to say, I gathered him together quickly with a nice FUCK YOU paired with a few other well thought out insults.
But really, it was an eye opening experience for me. I knew this person wasn’t the right one for me. I knew it when he blocked me without a word for 8 months. Some things just aren’t meant to be and you can waste time being tied up in the wrong people but you’re really just slowing down your destiny.
Just like there was a reason none of those other fellowships accepted me, there’s a reason things with this person didn’t work out. There’s something better coming along. So from now on I’m not tying myself down to any place or anyone. Whatever is meant for me will be given to me when the time is right. #unbothered